is this-0- wrecking the naught space

[parch]

someone was speaking behind me when i did it and now i can't ever take the words away. hideous absence - you govern me crying; i wish i knew your name - but what is of name? from zero to ten i remembered and then i forgot in between. i forgot sustance. forging ahead to the naught space. the shade sad, withering looks lonely at me "don't stay, don't wait, don't look" and nothing do. just wither and don't it seems. forging into the naught space, the zero, nill, end of the hill-- happy pretense recovers and we see pride faithful fear and all on knees. wasting. was now wanted back but firm hands of past push forward. into the naught space. into this.
what is behind this smile? of tricks and truth if be, can it be, will it ever not be, or is it just a smile? a mirror, a lie, an outlet to this - naught space.
wasting.
wanted was or wasn't but is now although can't see. should it touch or be when nothing steals - nothing wrecks the sense of itself, past, now wasn't - will not be.
do you see?
if you could, would i fool you into not seeing so the naught space could take you whole without something left here in nothing.
ha!
the smile took you in. so what is behind? or put better - what wanted to be? you, i, me, shall i accept that? - as truth? which is still...inside the naught space.


___---parch

[machinery]

I read it with a "flow" but I didn't pick up anything along the way. This is my first time reading it...so, I will try again and respond to what I feel... I am not sure of the direction of your writing on this one. I can't pick up what it is about...

[parch]

its about existance, past, future, present, the fact of now...not really existing but the only thing that could exist.

--side note...when i use the word "shade" sometimes i mean: a ghoul, or ghostly apparition(sp) usually lingering the place of death of a person who cannot move on into afterlife....... as if you cared
i got it from piers anthony novels

___---parch